WIP: DYNAMIC DUO OF THE OZARKS

CHAPTER 5

Mykel and Clint got dressed up to go downstairs to the party in the girl’s suit. As they changed their clothes, they got acquainted by telling each other about their hometowns.

“There isn’t very much in Hermes. We have a a bank, a grocery store, a hardware and feed store, a drug store and a truck stop on the edge of town,” Clint explained, as he polished his brown, patent leather shoes.

“What do the kids in your town do for fun?”

“There is a soda fountain at the drug store and there is a drive-in restaurant everyone goes to called the Cream-N-Go. It’s closed in the winter.”

“What did you say it was called?” Mykel began to laugh.

“Cream-N-Go,” Clint repeated, while chuckling himself. “Out-of-towners always laugh about it too.”

“So, exactly how man state titles did Hermes win?” Mykel asked his new roommate, as he splashed Aqua Velva on his face.

“Two in football, while I was in school,” Clint explained, as he dragged a comb soaked in Groom-N-Clean through his blonde hair. “I believe we won the football state championship four other years…maybe in the 50s. Coach Smuckers is one of the best coaches in Missouri. I know Lemming Pond is pretty good in basketball and baseball. How are they in football?”

“Lousy,” Mykel answered with a chuckle. “We don’t even score points during a football game. Last year, during a game we actually scored and KOTX’s sportscaster broke in during Peyton Place and announced we had scored for the first time in five years. Some of the football players’ parents were mad about that, but I thought it was funny. The town I used to live in, Binbury, had a great football team. Unfortunately, I had to leave there, when my father died and moved to Lemming Pond, because that is where my mother’s family lived.”

“Binbury is in Vermont, right?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“The box your TV set was in has an address from Binbury, Vermont,” Clint then smiled and then added, “That also explains your accent.”

The boys checked to see if their pants were zipped, in the full length mirror, mounted on the back of the front door, then they locked it on the way out to the party.

“What was that thing you put in your pocket with the keys?” Clint asked Mykel.

“My Primetine Mist Inhaler. I have asthma and might need it.”

“Too bad this isn’t off-campus, so I could drive,” Clint said. “Chicks dig my car.”

“What kind of car is it?”

“A 64 Ford Mustang. It’s forest green though.”

“Yeah, but is still a Mustang,” Mykel answered, as they ran down the stairs to the forth floor and Room 420. Slick walked up from the stairwell, at the opposite end of the hall, with a skinny, baby faced, blonde boy in a blue cardigan.

“Hey, you guys made it too,” Slick exclaimed. “Clint, Mykel, this is my roommate, Henry, uh…” Slick drew a blank.

“Henry Sawyer,” Clinton spoke up. “I remember you from last semester. I’m surprised they didn’t just move one of us down the hall and have us room together. Don’t worry, Slick’s a great guy. He’s a lot of fun, but he’s also stable.”

“My roommate, last semester, left in the middle of the night,” Henry told Mykel. “I thought he wanted an early start for Columbus Day weekend, but he never came back.”

The door to Room 420 was standing ajar and a radio inside was blasting “The Cheater” by Bob Kuban and the In-Men.

“I guess we can go on in,” Clint surmised. He then knocked on the door, out of courtesy, while Henry and Mykel got acquainted with each other.

“I’m from Sullivan. Where are you from?”

“Lemming Pond, but don’t hold that against me.” Mykel’s answer caused Henry to laugh.

“What’s the password?” screamed one of the girl’s from inside the dorm suite.

“Swordfish!” Slick yelled back.

“There will be bluebirds over the White Cliffs of Dover,” Mykel answered in an imitation of Maxwell Smart.

“Four boys here for a party,” Clint answered.

“Come on in!” screamed another disembodied girl’s voice.

The boys walked into the living area of the girl’s suite and began to gaze around the room at the decorations on their wall. Frogs, teddy bears, giant flowers, rainbows, children with big eyes, kitty cats and puppies were everywhere. Several maroon and white Spring Valley State College pendants and banners were on a wall, underneath construction paper letters that spelled out school “School Pride.” On another wall, under the word “Tunes” were 45 record picture sleeves and magazine clippings of The Beatles, The Stones, Herman’s Hermits, The Supremes, Gary Lewis, Four Tops, Dean Martin, and Bob Dylan. Under the word “Guys,” were the faces of Richard Chamberlain, Sean Connery, Steve McQueen, Lee Majors, Michael Landon, Peter Brown and William Smith from Laredo, and, looming over them all them was a 38 inch by 50 inch pin-up of David McCallum.

There was also a poster board with the word “Us” at the top. Each of the girl’s senior photos were on the board, along with snapshots of Kathy and her car, which was a Packard Clipper, Grace wearing a majorette’s uniform and a pair of think cat’s eye glasses, Debbie holding a beagle puppy along side her little brother, and Sherry, looking rather sad, in her prom dress with a handsome, but stern faced older boy in a tux. Another photo was Sherry in a cheerleader uniform, but in that photo she had a big smile.

“How did they put all of this stuff up on the walls?” Henry asked the other guys. “The dorm rules say we are not supposed to use thumb tacks.”

“Might be double face tape or glue,” Mykel answered.

“I think glue is against the rules too,” Henry informed the others.

“Henry! Don’t worry about it!” Slick said. “We are here to hang out with these girls, not judge them.”

Another boy walked up and began banging on the open door. He was a slovenly character with oily black hair and cigarette hanging out his mouth. “I’m here for those girl’s party,” he said in a voice like a fork being dragged across a chalkboard.

“Conrad! You made it back for this semester,” Clint said.

“Yeah, I managed pass with some help on some test,” Conrad said with a smirk, then asked, “Who are these guys?”

“Oh, Conrad Welch, this is my new roommate, Mykel Daring; my teammate, Slick Jefferson, and his roommate, Henry Sawyer,” Clint introduced the other boys to Conrad.

“I know Henry, because he was on our floor last semester,” Welch said, then turned to Mykel and made him an offer. “Mykel, if you need to call home, come see me. I’m a phone freaker and I can help you make long distance calls for free.”

“My mom is a bookkeeper for Bell Telephone in Lemming Pond,” Mykel explained. “I can call home for free using her employee discount number, that she gave me.”

“Then do me a favor and don’t rat me out,” Welch said, as he lit another Viceroy off of the butt he had in his mouth. “Also you guys don’t have to call me Conrad. My friends just call me Con.”

Henry whispered to Mykel, “He is a creep.”

Mykel whispered back, “I can tell. He also stinks.”

One of the closed bedroom doors opened and Debbie and Grace walked out giggling about something that only they were privileged to know about. “Wow! Some boys actually showed up,” Grace chirped with giddy excitement.

“Kathy and Sherry went downstairs to get the pizza’s we ordered,” Debbie explained. “would you boys want a drink. We have plenty of Pepsi and Mountain Dew.”

“Do you have any Coke? I don’t like Pepsi. ” Con asked. The girls informed him that they didn’t have any Coca Cola, because Pepsi and Mountain Dew was on sale at the supermarket that week.

“What is Mountain Dew like? I’ve not had any of that yet,” Clint asked the girls.

“It’s fruity tasting,” Debbie answered, as she reached into the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle out. “Here try one.” She popped the cap off with a church key and handed it to Clint, who took a drink and began smacking his lips, as a DJ began doing his breathless patter on the radio, over the opening riff of ‘I Feel Fine’ by the Beatles.

“IT’S 5:10 ON A COLD SUNDAY IN THE OZARKS AT 22 DEGREES AT SPRING VALLEY REGIONAL AIRPORT. I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND I SAY WE SHOULD WARM UP WITH THE BEATLES ON THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

“It’s the Beatles, turn it up!” Grace squealed with glee as Debbie turned up the volume on the Westinghouse radio on the kitchen counter.

“Hey Mykel, is that the radio station you are going to work at?” Clint asked.

“Yeah, it is!”

“Oh wow! Are you going to be on the radio?” Debbie asked.

“Well, I like to be, but I’m not sure yet,” Mykel answered.

“That is the radio station most of the S-V-S-C students listen to,” Grace told Mykel. “You’ll be quite popular on campus.”

“I don’t listen to that radio station. I can’t stand pop music. I listen to K-T-O-C, that radio station that has Dan Smoot and Paul Harvey,” Con said. “I also don’t listen to the Cardinals on the local affiliate. I will only listen to them on K-M-O-X. I rigged a receiver to pick them up here in Spring Valley.”

Kathy and Sherry came in carrying four large pizza boxes. “We’re back!” Kathy announced, as she and Sherry placed the pizza boxes down on the table. We have two pepperoni pizzas, a cheese pizza, and a spicy hamburger pizza.”

“Is this from the Wolves Den in the Campus Union?” Con asked Kathy, who recoiled a Con’s halitosis.

“The Wolves Den won’t be open until tomorrow, when classes start,” Kathy explained. “This is from Sam’s Little Sicily. They have a Back to Class special for students.”

Sherry washed her hands, then sprinkled something from a bottle on her hands, then pulled three bags of potato chips from a box.

“We have chips too!” Sherry said.

“Are they Guys?” Con asked.

“No, they are Kitty Clover?” she answered, as she reeled back in disgust from Con’s foul breath. “We have plain, Ozarks Bar B-Q, and green onion.”

Two other boys walked in. “Hi! Are you the girls having the party?”

“Yes, we are!” Kathy acknowledged. “Help yourself to pizza, chips and soda pop!”

“And plenty for everyone,” Sherry said, as she walked toward her the bedroom. As she passed Mykel, she rubbed his head and smiled at him. Mykel hated when people did that, like he was five years old, but this time, it seemed different. It felt different when Sherry did it. It felt more like she had rubbed another part of his body.

Slick looked out the door of the suite. “Hold on, I see somebody!”

“Oh my gosh! Is it an R. A from another floor?” Grace asked nervously.

Slick walked out into the hall and shouted at someone, “Carlene, get in here and bring your fine, looking friend with you!”

A girl’s voice yelled back, “Slick Jefferson, folks can probably hear you on the Paseo, as loud as you are talking!” Two black girls walked in and Mykel recognized one of them as the girl, who he had held the elevator door open for earlier that afternoon. He thought for a few minutes then remembered her aunt called her Silvy.

Carlene was a statuesque girl, who like Silvy, wore her hair straightened, except Carlene wore her hair in a beehive, where as Silvy had a simple bouffant. Carlene wore silver hoop earrings and matching white eyeliner and lipstick. A S-V-S-C Wolves sweatshirt covered her upper torso and she was poured into a rather snug pair of blue jeans. Slick took advantage of the obvious target and pinched Carlene’s behind, which lead to her slugging him in the arm.

“OW! You bad boy!” she scolded him.

“Carlene, we’re glad you made it,” Debbie said.

“We were lost, we couldn’t remember what number you said your room was after we got up here,” Carlene explained. “Oooh, that pizza smells good!”

Silvy smiled at Mykel, “Hello again!”

Carlene asked, “Do you two know each other?”

“This is the boy that let me and Auntie Charlotte on the elevator,” Silvy explained.

Carlene laughed, “She said you were a short boy with hair like the Beatles.”

On the radio, there was the thunder of kettle drums and a booming low voiced announcer proclaimed, “AND NOW, THE NUMBER ONE SONG OF THE WEEK, ACCORDING TO RETAIL SALES IN THE GREATER SPRING VALLEY AREA AND YOUR REQUEST TO K-I-DOUBLE-L RADIO!” There was a trumpet fanfare to herald, “Lightening Strikes” by Lou Christie.

“Mykel is going to be on K-I-double-L!” Grace told everyone in the room.

“Oh wow! That will be cool!” Kathy said. “When will you be on?”

“I’m really not sure if I will be on the air,” Mykel tried to explain again, so people didn’t get their hopes up. “It is just an internship, not a job.”

“It’s neat that you are going to have an opportunity to to work at a radio station,” Sherry said, as she sprinkled a clear liquid on her hands. She then picked up the bag of plain potato chips and shook them out onto a paper plate, before putting one into her mouth. “Everyone help yourself to some pizza. What kind do you want, Mykel?”

“I’ll have some pepperoni,” Mykel replied.

“Good choice! That’s my favorite,” Sherry told him with a wink. “Do you want Pepsi or Mountain Dew?”

“I’ll have Pepsi,” Mykel answered.

“Now that there are more people here, I thought I would mention again that I’m a phone freaker,” Con announced, with ash hanging precariously from his Viceroy. “I can help you make free long distance calls with the pay phones in the hallways.”

“How can you get free long distance on a pay phone?” Dennis asked with a skeptical glance at Clint, Slick and Tommy. Slick rolled his eyes and the boys tried not to laugh.

“It is a complicated process, but I happen to have the right equipment,” Con began explaining his illegal shenanigans. “You need a solid state AM-FM radio, with a short wave, weather and police call band, an empty coffee can and, the secret weapon, a Krinkles the Clown circus parade whistle from a box of Post Sugar Rice Krinkles Cereal.”

“A whistle from a cereal box?” Slick began laughing. “What do you need that for?”

“The whistles, they give away, in the Post Sugar Krinkles box are the same key as a tone in the Bell System’s equipment. It causes the switcher to think the caller has hung up creating an open carrier line, that can be used for free long distance calls.”

Debbie spoke up, “My little brother calls Rice Krinkles ‘clown Krinkles.’”

“I’d be happy to help you girls make some free long distance calls,” Con said.

“No thanks, we have a private phone in our room,” Kathy said.

“We’re girls. We have to have our own phone,” Sherry added.

Tommy spoke up, “I might give it a try sometime. What is your name?”

“Conrad Welch, but everyone calls me Con. I live on the sixth floor.”

“I saw you in the building quite a bit last semester,” Tommy said. “But I didn’t know your name.”

“My roommate, Reggie Wernikee, was killed in a car wreck last week, so I’m by myself this semester.” Con explained. “Supposedly, the college has a bereavement clause, that says if your roommate dies, the college with give you all A’s for the semester, so I’m going to blow this semester off. Reggie was kind of a pain. He always was afraid I was going to get him into trouble with my phone freaking.”

“My roommate from last semester enlisted in the Army,” Clint explained. “He is probably in Vietnam now, so they put Mykel in with me this semester.”

“Who was your roommate last semester, Mykel?” Sherry asked.

“Ralph Jenkins. I’m guessing he crawled into a keg of Budweiser and drowned,” Mykel joked.

Everyone laughed, but Dennis and Tommy laughed louder. “Ralph Jenkins, that big dope! Spring Valley Fire Department had to get him off the TKE House, one Saturday night,” Dennis laughed. “He was buck naked.”

“He was mad at me because I went home for the weekend and didn’t come bail him out of jail,” Mykel remembered.

“I had a class with him,” Kathy remembered. “I don’t think he ever showed up.”

“He slept most of the time,” Mykel explained. “Then, he would go play pinball over at the Campus Union.”

“Well, he was lousy at shooting pool,” Con added. “I could count on taking him for five bucks every time I played him.”

“Slick, what happened to your roommate, Willie Rails?” Carlene inquired.

“He’s taking off a semester to try to play minor league baseball.”

“That was bad about the electrical fire over at Carver House,” Con said.

“Electrical fire, HA!” Carlene snapped sarcastically.

“Electrical fire, my butt! The Klan torched it!” Slick said. “People in Spring Valley are denying it or covering it up.”

“I have a friend, whose dad is on the fire department, and he said that it reeked of ethyl and kerosene,” Dennis explained. “It was defiantly arson.”

The radio, on the counter, blasted the horns of the station’s jingle and a happy chorus sang, “THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED! K-I-DOUBLE-L WITH SPRING VALLEY’S KILLER HITS!,” followed by Martha and the Vandellas singing “Nowhere to Run.”

“Slick, is your friend hoping to play for the Cardinals or the Athletics?” Dennis asked, trying to get back to the more positive subject, after Con brought up a touchy subject.

“He’s tying out for the Cards farm team,” Slick explained. “The talk in K.C is that Charlie Finley is gonna pull the A’s out of Kansas City. Besides the Cardinals actually win games.”

Mykel was listening to the conversation about Slick’s former roommate, when he felt the warm touch of a soft, smooth, woman’s hand on his arm. He turned and Sherry was standing beside him.

“Would you like another piece of pizza or some more chips or soda pop?” she asked him with a pleasant big smile.

“Yeah, let me try a slice of the spicy hamburger and one of those Mountain Dew’s,” Mykel managed to say through his goofy, euphoric grin. This was a new experience for Mykel to have a girl smile at him and ask him what he wanted to eat, but to put a bow on this late Christmas present, this pretty girl actually touched his arm. Most of the girl’s in Lemming Pond either punched him in the arm or wanted their boyfriend to break his arm. Mykel followed Sherry very close, like a puppy on a leash, over to the table, where the snacks were placed, in a makeshift buffet. She slipped on a pair of Playtex Living Gloves, placed a slice of the spicy hamburger pizza on his paper plate.

“Could I have some of those barbecue chips too?”

“Sure,” Sherry answered, before picking up the sack of Kitty Clover Ozarks Bar-B-Q chips and began shaking the sack gingerly to pour the chips onto Mykel’s plate, rather than taking them out of the sack with her hand. “Say when!” she looked at him still smiling. Mykel was staring into Sherry’s eyes that he almost forgot to tell her to stop. “How about we stop here?” There were about a dozen large chips on Mykel’s plate at that point.

“Oh yes! That is fine!” Mykel acknowledged that he had enough chips.

Sherry giggled as she sat the chip bag back down on the table. “I’ll get you a Mountain Dew.” She turned, opened the refrigerator door and bent over to retrieve a bottle of Mountain Dew from the lower shelf. Mykel watched her and became aware of the smooth, round, plump shape of Sherry’s derriere in her bright, red Capri pants. He was in awe of such a thing of beauty.

“Is THIS the party?” a shrill crackling voice spoke from the doorway.

Mykel looked up from worshiping Sherry’s buttocks, to see a disturbing visage of a girl, holding a cigarette in the air at a forty-five degree angle. She was in a black cocktail dress and pearls, like she was attending a high society function at a country club, rather than a small party in a dorm suite, but what unnerved Mykel was her looks.

She had on white, cream lipstick like Carlene, but with pink eye shadow, which didn’t go together. This was the only makeup she seemed to have on her chalky, white, pimply complexion. This made her look like she had bought with stomach flu. Her long hair was the color of dishwater, after a large banquet of extremely greasy food. She had bangs, but they weren’t enough to cover her large, protruding forehead, that had one single eyebrow straight across her eyes, one of which was sort of unresponsive. The black pupil just seemed to lay dead in the left corner of the iris of her left eye.

“Hi Alice!” Sherry greeted the homely creature.

“I thought you said there would be cute boys at your party,” Alice snarled, before taking a drag of her cigarette, then blowing the smoke out with a grunt of disgust, “Humph!” The guys all looked rather annoyed at Alice’s judgment of them, but Mykel noticed, out in the hallway, the boy who was in the elevator, at the same time he and Silvy were, walking around the hallway rather befuddled and lost.

“Owen!” Mykel called out to the awkward boy.

“Hey, you are the guy that was one the elevator with me and my parents!” Owen recognized Mykel and then he began explaining, “There were some girls invited me to a party. Is this where it is?”

Sherry heard what Owen asked Mykel and stepped over to the doorway, “You’re in the right place! Come on in!”

Kathy chimed in, “Glad you could make it! We have plenty of pizza, chips, and soda pop!”

Owen crept into the dorm suite rather slowly. He was dressed in a snug fitting brown cardigan sweater, over a Spider-Man sweatshirt, Indigo blue corduroy pants and a pair of sheepskin lined house shoes. Alice looked at him with disdain and let out another “Hmph!,” along with smoke from her cigarette.

Grace stepped forward, to help Owen with his snacks, asking, “What kind of pizza would you like?”. In the process, she stubbed her toe and fell against the refrigerator. “Ow!” she whined, before picking up a paper plate and napkin for Owen.

“Is that a spicy hamburger pizza from Sam’s Little Sicily?” Owen asked. Grace acknowledged that it was a spicy hamburger pizza. “I’ll take a slice of that and a bottle of Mountain Dew. Could I have some of those potato chips too?”

“Sure! That’s why we’ve got them!” Grace answered.

“Give me some of the Green Onion chips then,” Owen instructed Grace.

Sherry winced as Grace stuck her hand down in the bag of Kitty Clover Green Onion to get Owen out a serving of chips. “Grace, shake the chips out of the bag!” Sherry scolded her suite mate. “I think it’s unsanitary for all of us to handle the chips.”

“Oh Sherry!” Grace fired back. “Do you always have to be so clean and neat?”

“She was that way in kindergarten too,” Alice recalled. “She would bawl if she got something on her hands, like finger paint or paste.”

“At least I didn’t eat paste or crayons,” Sherry snapped back, as she winked at the boys, behind Alice’s back. “Like you did.”

“Well I’ve stopped eating it,” Alice snapped back. “It’s probably fattening.”

Owen looked at the ‘Guys’ wall display. “Oh Wow! You’ve got one of those giant Illya Kuryakin posters,” Owen exclaimed with awe at the large David McCallum poster.

“My mom ordered that, out of a magazine, for me for Christmas,” Grace explained.

“I’ve seen the ads for those in comic books, but this is the first time I’ve seen one on someone’s wall,” Owen replied.

Kathy piped up, “He is one of our favorite guys!”

“You’ve got a lot of favorite guys on your wall,” Carlene said. “But if I was going to get frisky with a secret agent, I’d go for Alex Scott from I Spy. I doubt he sleeps around with every girl he sees like James Bond does.”

“Which one of you put up the pictures of the guys from Laredo?” Clint asked.

“I did!” Sherry answered, she then smiled. “I like Chad, because he is sarcastic and got nice, thick hair.” She stuck he hand into Mykel’s hair and ran her fingers through it.

“I can’t believe you left Reese’s picture off your wall,” Mykel said, mimicking Neville Brand’s raspy voice. Everyone laughed, except Alice.

“Are you the one who we heard imitating Maxwell Smart earlier?” Debbie asked Mykel.

Mykel quickly proved to Debbie that it was indeed him, by slipping into Don Adams nasal voice. “Would you believe that was Slick doing that?”

Henry laughed, “That is great! Do you do any other voices?”

Mykel then produced Jed Clampet’s voice, “Ooooooohh Doggies! One of these days, I’m just gonna have to have a long talk with that boy!” That, in turn, produced laughter with everyone, except Alice.

“I’ve got to tell you guys,” Clint chuckled. “I’ve been with Mykel only a few hours and I already know how most of the people in Lemming Pond and the people he went to school with talk.”

“That is a neat talent to have,” Kathy complimented Mykel.

“It will be cool if you can do that on the radio!” Grace gushed about Mykel’s imitations.

“If you are into that sort of thing,” Alice sneered coldly, trying to throwing water on everyone’s admiration for Mykel’s talent.

The song on the radio began to fade out, as the DJ came roaring back on his way to hitting the post introducing the next record. “K-I-DOUBLE-L – THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED! I’M WILD WALLY WATSON ON YOUR RADIO AND THAT WAS MARTHA AND THE VANDELLAS WITH A FORMER NUMBER KILLER HIT ON THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED! IT’S HAPPY HOUR! LET’S GET LOADED WITH ROGER MILLER ON K-I-DOUBLE-L!” He stopped five seconds before Roger Miller started singing “Chug A Lug.”

“That song reminds me,” Kathy said. “Debbie, take the stewpot down the hall and fill it with ice from the machine. Grace, why don’t you go with her. It may take two of you to carry it.” As Debbie and Grace got the stewpot out of the cabinet and walked down the hallway to the ice machine, Kathy delegated some more, “Sherry, get the hatbox from my room.”

“The one from last night?” Sherry asked.

“Yes, that one!” Kathy affirmed. Sherry opened the door to Kathy and Grace’s room and retrieved a lavender hatbox from under the bed. She brought it in and sat it on the kitchen counter.

While this went on, Con decided he needed to make Owen and Alice aware of his offer to use his phone freaking hobby to make free long distance calls for them.

“Do you have a squawk box?” Owen questioned Con.

“Not yet, but I’m going to build one,” Con explained. “I have a receiver, with a working dial, and a handset, but I still need to find some of the other parts that go into it. I have a basic electrical repair class this semester, so maybe I can have one completed soon. I can still make calls for you, with the other stuff I have. Where are you from?”

“I’m from here in Spring Valley,” Owen answered. “A call to my parents is a local call.” Con Welch looked perturbed at Owen. “I’m just interested in phone freaking from an engineering viewpoint.”

“So you can do all of this from a pay phone, like the ones in the stairwells?” Alice asked.

“Yeah, that is how it works best,” Con answered.

Sherry was listening as she pulled a package of paper party cups from the cabinet. “Alice, you have a phone in your room,” Sherry questioned Alice. “Why would you need to use a pay phone?”

“So my parents don’t see who I am calling,” Alice snapped. “It shows up on the bill from the college.”

Debbie and Grace returned a short time later with the stewpot filled with to the top with tube-shaped ice cubes. “This is heavy and it is starting to get cold on our hands!” Debbie complained, as she and Grace placed the stewpot in the sink.

On the radio the music stopped long enough for a very serious sounding announcer to say, “This is K-I-L-L in Spring Valley, Missouri, at Thirteen Hundred kilohertz on your radio dial. Owned and operated by the Mary Sue Broadcasting Company. At the tone, it will be six o’clock.” There was a short blast of trumpet, – BAH-DAH!- that signaled the new hour. Then, the DJ came back.

“I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND IT’S THE K-I-DOUBLE-L WITCHING HOUR!” There was a scream of a terrified woman and they played the theme song to the all request show, which was the song “Voodoo Walk” by Sonny Richard and the Panics.

Kathy convened the small group of freshman dorm dwellers, “Okay everyone! We, the girls of 420, have a surprise for you! Since out R-A, Phyllis, is out of town, and Katz Discount City had stuff, left over from Christmas, on close out yesterday, Sherry and I bought some Bacardi, so we can all loosen up and get to know each other.”

“Oh Boy! Booze! I’ve always wanted to try some of that!” Owen exclaimed loudly. The girls shushed him, in case there was a tattletale out in the hallway.

“Did you get any Canadian Whiskey?” Con asked.

“No, just rum,” Kathy answered slightly annoyed.

“I think I may go back to my room then,” Con sniffed. “I think it’s time for Branded anyway. I’ll see you guys around.” He opened the door and made his exit. Henry closed the door behind him.

“I’m glad he is gone!” Henry remarked. “He stinks and he is rude.”

Carlene spoke up, “Somebody needs to tell that white boy to use deodorant!”

“I don’t think it would do any good,” Clint said. “I had class with him last semester and you can’t tell him anything. He would argue with the professor.”

“Oh, tell me about it!” Dennis concurred. “I had a class with him last semester too and he did the same thing. He thinks he is smarter than everyone. Even when you have a simple conversation with him, he thinks his opinion is all that matters.”

“Let’s get back to the important stuff,” Kathy piped up. “Who wants some of this yummy rummy?”

“I would to try some of the rum, if I may,” Owen politely requested. “Can I have some with Mountain Dew.”

“Sure,” Kathy answered, as she put some ice in a left over Christmas paper cup, the girls bought on clearance at Katz. The cups were red, trimmed at the top with silver bells and holly, trimmed at the bottom with mistletoe, with Santa Claus’s face on one side and, on the opposite side, in white, Old English lettering, the words ‘Merry Xmas.’ Kathy poured some rum and Mountain Dew over it and handed it to Owen.

“THAT MUSIC MEANS IT IS THE K-I-DOUBLE-L WITCHING HOUR! I’M WILD WALLY WATSON PLAYING YOUR REQUEST! CALL ME NOW AT TUXEDO 2-65 THOUSAND! THAT’S 8-8-2-6-5-0-0. HERE IS THE FISHER’S HI-BOY FIRST REQUEST OF THE NIGHT…” The opening drums, bass and horns of the song “Uptight” began playing on the radio as Wild Wally talked. “IT’S LITTLE STEVIE WONDER ON THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

“I could use some rum,” Clint said. “But I want mine with Pepsi.”

“Same here,” Dennis said.

“Turn up the radio! I love this song!” Slick commanded. “And fill one of those cups half full with rum and hand me a bottle of Pepsi. I’ll fill it as I go.”

“Do you want ice?” Sherry asked, as she pulled a cup out of the package for Slick, wearing her Playtex Living Gloves.

“Give me about four ice cubes at the most,” Slick instructed. “Those Pepsi’s have been in the fridge, so they will be cold.”

“I should have warned, you ladies,” Clint laughed. “Slick has this down to a science.”

“Don’t you know it!” Slick agreed enthusiastically. “Fix my boy, Henry, up with a drink.”

“I don’t think I should,” Henry said. “I have class tomorrow.”

“Come on, Henry!” Slick raised his voice at his roommate. “We need to get you drunk. Drunk, drunk, drunk, Baby!”

Henry cautiously said, “Maybe just a little with some Pepsi.”

Debbie volunteered, “I’ll fix it for you!” Her blonde pigtails bounced on her shoulders as she quickly poured a shot of rum in on the ‘Merry Xmas’ cups, dropped in some ice cubes and poured in some Pepsi, before handing it to the straight-laced boy.

“When we all get a drink and some snacks,” Kathy explained. “We will all go around the room and introduce ourselves.”

“Do you mind if I don’t drink any rum?” Silvy asked politely.

“No, that is fine. If you don’t feel comfortable drinking you don’t have to,” Kathy reassured Silvy.

“So, why do I have to drink?” Henry protested.

“Let me explain this to you, Henry. Silvy is a nice, pretty, Christian lady,” Slick told his roommate. Silvy smiled, slightly embarrassed by the attention. Carlene gave her a nudge and they giggled at Slick’s compliment. “You, on the other hand, are my roommate and you are wound tighter than a hatband. We have to loosen you up before the semester gets going. We need to get you drunk, drunk, drunk, Baby!”

“How about you, Mykel?” Sherry asked.

“Ooooh, I think I’ll have a little drink-ee, then I’m going to go sit on the cow-ch,” Mykel said, appropriately imitating Dean Martin’s voice.

“Do you have to keep doing that?” Alice snapped at Mykel. “That is really annoying me!” Mykel grimaced with anger. Alice was just like the girls in Lemming Pond, she didn’t appreciate his humor. He looked around the room and noticed everyone else in the room, including Sherry, giving Alice disapproving looks, so he decided it would be alright to keeping annoying Alice, so he just switched to another celebrity voice.

“Young lady, I’d like my drink shaken, not stirred,” Mykel told Sherry in Sean Connery, which caused Sherry to smile and the others to chuckle and giggle quietly, as “I Wish You Would,” The Yardbirds, blasted out of the radio, like a late Spring thunderstorm.

“Could we turn down that radio?” Alice asked with a scowl upon her already unpleasant face. “That is headache inducing!”

“Should we turn it down?” Debbie asked, since she was standing by the counter, where it was plugged in.

“It’s not bothering me,” Dennis replied, as he looked around the room, to see everyone’s response. Tommy nodded in agreement with Dennis.

“It’s not too loud,” Carlene answered.

“Fine with me,” said Silvy.

“It’s okay by me,” Henry answered.

“And that comes from a guy who listens to Monitor,” Slick laughed.

“What is wrong with listening to Monitor?” Henry asked.

“That’s what old folks listen to,” Slick answered.

“Well, in a few months, I’ll listen to the Cardinals on Sunday afternoon,” Henry replied.

“At least he doesn’t listen to the listen to the Metropolitan Opera, on Sunday afternoon, like my grandparents,” Debbie said.

“I listen to the opera some,” Silvy said. “I wouldn’t mind being an opera singer, they get paid good money.”

“Are you a music major?” Grace asked Silvy.

“Yes, music education,” Silvy answered.

“You ought to sing at the Cafe What in the student union,” Grace suggested to Silvy.

“I would, but I would need an accompanist,” Silvy explained.

“I can’t stand that Cafe What thing,” Alice snarled. “I wouldn’t be caught dead in there.”

Slick ignored Alice’s comment and told Silvy, “No, no! Try to go to Motown and be a singer like Martha Reeves and Mary Wells, or Dionne Warwick. Opera singers are always big, fat women in Viking helmets. You are to good looking to be one of those gals.” Everyone laughed, except Alice, who let out another, “Hmph!”

Dennis changed the subject rather abruptly, “Did you guys see the Pro Bowl?”

“I would have liked to, but I didn’t have a TV, until Mykel showed up,” Clint said. “Anything good happen?”

“It was great! Jim Brown made three touch downs!” Tommy gave a recap.

“We were watching it in Keith Smith’s room,” Dennis explained. “Do you know him?” Clint answered that he didn’t know him.

“Gayle Sayers fumbled the ball during one play, didn’t he?” Henry asked.

“He did and I’ll bet Lombardi chewed his butt about that after the game,” Dennis laughed, before taking a slug of his rum and Pepsi, then chomping on an ice cube.

“How did you know Gayle Sayers fumbled, Henry?” Slick asked. “We don’t have a TV.”

“They gave updates of the game on Monitor,” Henry said with a smile, before taking a sip of his drink.

“Oh low blow!” Carlene hollered and laughed Slick getting burned by Henry. “That will teach him to make fun of what you listen to on the radio.” Henry smiled and blushed a little, before taking a sip of his drink.

Slick laughed, “You got me that time, Henry! You got me good.”

“THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L – THE YARDBIRDS WITH THEIR FIRST HIT SINGLE FROM LAST YEAR! I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND YOU ARE LISTENING TO THE WITCHING HOUR ON K-I-DOUBLE-L! MAKE A REQUEST AT TUXEDO TWO – SIXTY-FIVE-THOUSAND. THAT’S EIGHT-EIGHT-TWO-SIX-FIVE-ZERO-ZERO. HERE’S THE LOVIN SPOONFUL AND “DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC” ON K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

“Everyone have a drink?” Kathy asked.

“I don’t and I think I am going to need a big one, if I’m going to stay here,” Alice snapped. That comment gathered Alice some rather scornful looks from the others in the room.

“Do you want Pepsi or Mountain Dew?” Sherry asked, as she got out a cup for Alice.

“Ick! Not Mountain Dew! That stuff is gross!” Alice ranted. “Give me Pepsi, but I want more Bacardi than Pepsi.”

“Well okay, you’re highness!” Sherry answered sarcastically. She smiled at Mykel and giggled as she made Alice a drink. Alice gave her icy, cutting stare with her unresponsive eye.

“We need some more chairs, don’t you think?” Grace observed.

“You are right, Grace! Why don’t some of you big, strong boys go down to the study room, in front of the elevators, and bring some of those chairs down here.” Kathy said. “How many will we need?”

“There is a folding chair in our room,” Debbie exclaimed, as she went into the room she shared with Sherry.

“Good idea!” Sherry admonished Debbie, as she walked over to the doorway of there room. “I think it is in one of the tallboys.”

“I found it!” Debbie shouted from the bedroom. The chair banged the door of the tallboy as she got retrieved it. Debbie carried the folding chair into the kitchen and dinning area of the suite, after Sherry stepped back away from the doorway.

“Three of us can sit on the settee,” Sherry deduced.

“I think we will need six chairs, guys,” Kathy ordered the boys. They all got up and started down the hall.

Owen stopped, before he walked out the door, “Wait! What if there are people down there studying?”

“Are you stupid?” Alice growled at Owen. “Nobody will be studying, because classes haven’t started yet!”

“Alice! You don’t have to be so hateful with everyone!” Sherry scolded her.

“You are right,” Owen said, as he walked out of the room with his tail between his legs.

The boys walked down to the study room. “I’ll bet the door is locked,” Henry said with concern.

Dennis turned the knob and pulled the door open. “We’re in luck, it’s unlocked.” He flipped on the lights and they all walked into the gray walled room, with three long tables and eighteen plastic molded chairs. Owen shuffled into the room last.

“I don’t think they lock these rooms,” Tommy said.

“We can each get a chair from the first table,” Clint observed.

“Owen, you can hold the door for us,” Mykel said and Owen immediately went to open the door.

Slick spoke up, “Wait, not yet. Boys, we need to have a quick talk. I have something serious to ask you guys.” The guys listened intently to what Slick was going to say. “I want a show of hands…how many here thinks that cockeyed bitch don’t like us?” The boys all burst into loud laughter and waving their hands in the air in a unanimous vote.

“We are not the kind of guys she likes,” Tommy said. “She likes rich boys.”

“And I have seen her get into some really ugly cat fights with other chicks at parties,” Dennis told the group.

“My friend, Carlene, is a fighter too,” Slick chuckled. “She may clean her clock before the night is over.”

“Maybe Carlene will straighten her eye out,” Mykel joked, while trying to imitate Alice’s creepy eye.

“She called me stupid a few minutes ago,” Owen bemoaned. “The real pretty girl that likes Mykel told her that she shouldn’t be so hateful.”

“What girl likes me?” Mykel asked with excitement.

“That girl that is from her hometown,” Owen explained. “At least, they said they were in school together.”

“Mykel, you lucky dog!” Slick congratulated Mykel. “I think she is sweet on you!”

“Slick is right,” Clint agreed with a smile on his face. “I think you’ve made a friend. She defiantly likes your hair.”

“Oh no!” Mykel disagreed. “That couldn’t be. Girls don’t like me at all. None of the girls in high school at Lemming Pond liked me.”

“Mykle, this is college,” Dennis explained. “Things are different here. Girls try to make friends with boys. I can see she is certainly trying to make friends with you.”

“We better go back, they will wonder what happened to us,” Clint said. “Besides, I haven’t got any pizza yet.”

The boys each picked up a chair and Owen opened the door for them. “Maybe Carlene had enough of Alice the Goon and is snatching her bald right now,” Slick said.

The chair swiping procession passed a room where some girls were making Jiffy Pop popcorn, on of hot plate, while watching Ed Sullivan, introduce a unicycle riding bear, on a small black and white television.

“Hey Mykel! Can you do Ed Sullivan?” Clint asked.

Without hesitation, Mykel launched into his imitation, “Right now, on our shew, a 90 year old woman will belly dance to the ‘Beer Barrel Polka’ in the nude.” The boys were laughing, as they arrived back at the girls’ suite, to find all of the girls, except Alice, singing along with “Give Him a Great Big Kiss,” by the Shangri-Las, on the radio. They had started the party without the boys.

“What took you so long?” Alice snarled at the group of boys as they carried the chairs into the dorm suite.

“We were discussing man stuff,” Slick answered, which caused the boys to burst into laughter, since the subject had been Alice.

“They’re laughing,” Debbie observed with a giggle. “When boys laugh, it is usually something naughty.”

Kathy assumed her leadership role and began instructing the boys, “Let’s place the chairs in a circle, if we can, then everyone refresh their drinks and get some snacks, then we will start introducing ourselves to each other.”

“Mykel, I’ll sit next to you on the love seat,” Sherry said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. “Since you said you were going to sit on the couch.” Clint gave Mykel a thumbs up.

It became a mad rush as the small congregation of freshmen grabbed some of the pizza, chips, and rum laced soda pop, while the radio continued providing the soundtrack in the background.

“THE SHANGRI-LAS WITH ‘GIVE HIM A GREAT BIG KISS’ BY REQUEST ON THE WITCHING HOUR, SPONSORED BY FISHER’S HIGH-BOY DRIVE-IN, WHERE TUESDAY IS TEN CENT CONEY DOG DAY! I’M WILD WALLY WATSON ON THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L! BACK WITH MORE MUSIC AFTER THESE MESSAGES FROM OUR FINE SPONSORS!”

The commercial break began with a spot for Mode-O-Day Fashion Store and the repetitive, school yard chant-like jingle, which the girls of Room 420, sang along with as well.

“You can save and save and save when you shop and shop and shop at Mode-O-Day, at Mode-O-Day, at Mode-O-Day!”

Alice sneered, “These commercials are so annoying,” as she pulled a gold, sequined cigarette case from her purse, got out a pack of Bel Airs and lit one with a Scripto lighter. She then held it at a 130 degree angel and rampantly blew clouds of smoke into the room.

“Silvy got her dress and sweater at Mode-O-Day for five bucks!” Carlene announced to the other girls.

“Stand up,” Kathy requested. “Let’s get a good look at it.”

Silvy stood up from the kitchen chair and modeled the azure blue, knee-length dress and white cardigan sweater with imitation pearl buttons. The boys made wolf whistles and hooted at her and clapped, with Slick yelling, “Take it off, Baby!” She sat back down slightly embarrassed.

“Did you get that here in Spring Valley or in your hometown?” Grace asked.

“Here in Spring Valley. My hometown isn’t big enough to have a Mode-O-Day,” Silvy explained. “It’s the new store in the Glen Isle Shopping Center, over by Newberrys.”

“I didn’t know there was one next to Newburry’s. I just knew there was a Mode-O-Day downtown, on the Square, across from Kresgees,” Debbie said. “Of course, I don’t have a car, so I don’t get out much.”

“Newberrys had a pair of navy blue marry janes that would go with this dress,” Silvy explained. “But I’ll have to save my money to get them.”

“Speaking of Newberrys, look what I got there!” Sherry said, as she suddenly threw her right leg across Mykel’s lap and yanked off her white anklet to show off a purple plastic band on middle toe. The boys watched from the other side of the room with prurient delight at the nervous look on Mykel’s face.

“Oh my gosh! You got a toe ring!” Carlene exclaimed, as she and the other girls moved in for a closer look. Mykel began to perspire from worrying about the possible embarrassing effects of having a girl’s leg straddling his lap, as well as having several girls staring in the proximity of his lap. He tried to get his mind off the fact that Sherry’s leg was lying in a rather dangerous place.

It didn’t help that the guys were smiling and snickering about Mykel’s awkward situation. Henry was focus on Mykel’s predicament so much that he didn’t know Slick had commandeered the bottle of Bacardi and was supplementing Henry’s Pepsi with more rum without his knowledge.

On the other hand, Owen was preoccupied with placing potato chips on a slice of pizza before munching on it.

Mykel decided that focusing on what was on the radio might calm him down. Unfortunately, at that moment, the Kirby Stone Four was singing, “Come Alive! You’re in the Pepsi Generation!” Maybe it would help if he took a drink of his Pepsi and rum. He also began to pray, silently, that the toe ring discussion would end and Sherry would remove her leg from his lap.

“She shouldn’t have her leg on my lap! We just met!” He thought. Sherry’s leg was warm on his crotch. His chest started to tighten and he knew he would be wheezing soon. “Concentrate on something else, Mykel!” he thought. Try not to look at those guys laughing and pay attention to the radio.

On the radio, a happy sounding chorus singing about what made various nationalities happy, but “To a smoker, it’s Kent! Smooth taste, fine tobacco!”

“Are they all plastic or are some of them metal?” Grace asked.

“I didn’t see any metal ones,” Sherry answered, then turned to Kathy. “Did you see any metal ones, Kathy?”

“No. They probably have metal ones somewhere,” Kathy said. “Just not for sale at Newberrys. Maybe at Zales.”

“What colors do they have?” Silvy asked.

“Just about any color you could imagine,” Sherry explained. “They even had some that were stripped.”

Mykel felt the inevitable was happening. It was stiffening and starting to slowly crawl down the leg of his jeans and up the side of his thigh. Mykel felt it raise up like the ladder on a fire engine. He tried to think of something else. Obviously the guys knew what was happening, because they were giggling and snickering harder. It really didn’t help that on the radio, Stan Freburg was demonstrating to Paul Frees that, on radio, you could turn Lake Superior into a hot fudge sundae.

“Well nobody is going to see it until it is sandal weather,” Alice snapped. “You should have purchased something more practical.”

“Well I’ve got one, so I’m ready for sandal weather,” Sherry snapped back, as she put her anklet back on and, finally, removed her leg off of Mykel’s lap. He began to breath easier now that Sherry’s leg wasn’t going to get poked by his erection. “I also got a new bathing suit off the clearance rack,” Sherry said with a sassy grin. “Do you think that it is too early to buy a bathing suit?”

“She also bought some panties,” Kathy added with a smile. “Nobody will be seeing those.”

Sherry looked at Mykel, with a twinkle in her eye and a devilish smile, “Who says?” All the girls laughed, except Alice, who gave Sherry is disapproving look with her unresponsive eye.

Mykel was glad Sherry’s leg was no longer on his lap, because it would have gotten pushed off. He still was worried someone would notice the effect the discussion of Sherry’s bathing suit and panties was having on him.

“My mother said you should call them ‘under things’ in the presence of a man,” Alice chided Kathy.

“Well, you mother isn’t here, Alice,” Sherry snapped back. “And the stores and the catalogs call them panties. We’re big girls in college. We call them panties.”

On the radio, George Carlin finished extolling the fine qualities of Ozark Airlines, before a group of hyper singers began cheering, “Let’s go, go, go, go, GO! K-I-DOUBLE-L SPRING VALLEY MIZZ-OOO-REE!” After the jingle, “Ain’t Going To Eat My Heart Out Anymore” by the Young Rascals seemed to come bubbling up from nowhere.

“If we are all situated,” Kathy announced, trying to keep Sherry and Alice from having a fight over the proper term for lingerie. “Let’s find out about each other. Who we are, where we are from, what we are major is. Some of us already know each other from last semester, but now, we are all over here together, in a different dorm, I think it would be great for all of us to become friends.”

“Speak for yourself,” Alice griped. “I think we should play a drinking game like 20 Questions.”

“Wait a minute!” Slick exclaimed. “I came here to meet girls and eat pizza. I didn’t know there would be a test!” Everyone, except Alice, thought Slick’s reaction was funny and laughed.

“No, no,” Kathy laughed while explaining. “We may play Moose or Quarters later, but I really just wanted us to introduce ourselves and talk.”

“I think we need to play Truth or Dare or Never Have I, because some people need to explain some things they did over Christmas break,” Alice said giving Sherry a sinister look, which caused Sherry to look uncomfortable.

Kathy gave Alice a peeved look, then went on, “I’ll go first. My name is Kathy Trautman an I am from O’Fallon. I graduated valedictorian from Fort Zumwalt High School. I’m a Communications/Public Relations major and a minor in government operations.

“I’m a Communications/Broadcasting major,” Mykel told Kathy. “Maybe we will have some classes together.”

“That would be great if we did!” Kathy said with a pleasant smile. “I’ll show you my schedule later and we can see if we have any classes together.”

Grace jumped up out of her chair to give her introduction. “My name is Grace…” Her chair tipped over and crashed to the floor. Everyone, except Alice, laughed. Grace blushed, but then continued on with her introduction. “My name is Grace Dalryple and I am from Blue Springs. I am an elementary education major. I’m also a baton twirler with the Wolfettes.”

Slick stood up and pointed at Grace, “I knew you looked familiar! You’re good at twirling that baton, Sugar!”

“Thanks!” Grace beamed with pride. “I wonder if the players are paying attention to us, when we perform our routines.”

“We like to watch to see if you catch it,” Clint spoke up. “We wish some of our teammates could catch as good as you.”

“I’m surprised she can catch that baton,” Alice sneered with a evil smile. “She can barely walk and chew gum at the same time.”

Grace’s joy slid off of her into dejection. Sherry came to Grace’s defense, “You shouldn’t talk. You couldn’t make the cheer-leading squad back home.”

“You were a cheerleader every year in school,” Alice fired back. “Why aren’t you a Wolfette?”

“I didn’t want to be a cheerleader anymore,” Sherry answered. “That was junior high and high school.”

“You seem to be fond of putting things from high school behind you,” Alice said with a smirk.

Owen blurted out, “I assume to catch a baton you have to have a good eye.” That obvious observation caused Henry to get choked on his drink and the other boys began laughing, which then caused the girls, except Alice, to giggle. Alice gave him a dirty look with her unresponsive eye. Owen seemed to be oblivious to why everyone was laughing. Grace smiled at Owen and said thanked him for his awkward compliment. Kathy asked Debbie to go next.

“I’m Debbie Higginbotham and I’m from Fredericktown. My major is nursing. I have an aunt that is a nurse. I have a little brother, Bobby, who is eight. And I have a beagle named Sparkler. He is the best puppy in the whole wide world. I miss playing with him and my little brother in our backyard.”

“K-I-DOUBLE-L – THE BIG THIRTEEN HUNDRED – THE YOUNG RASCALS BY REQUEST AND I’M WILD WALLY WATSON. IT’S THE WITCHING HOUR SPONSORED BY FISHER’S HI-BOY DRIVE-IN WHERE TUESDAY IS TEN CENT CONEY DOG DAY!” the radio interrupted Debbie’s introduction of herself.

Kathy pointed to Henry, “Let’s just continue around the room with you.”

Henry put down his drink and stood up, on rather wobbly legs, as the rum began to take effect on him. While he was getting ready to give his introduction, the radio was doing some introducing of its own.

“CALL US WITH A REQUEST AT TUXEDO-TWO-SIX-FIVE-THOUSAND. THAT’S EIGHT-EIGHT-TWO-SIX-FIVE-ZERO-ZERO! IT’S TWENTY DEGREES IN SPRING VALLEY AND HERE’S MARVIN GAYE ON K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

“I’m Henry Sawyer and …” Henry stopped and asked, “Did he say it is twenty degrees outside? It feewelz like eighty-five degrees in here.” Slick and the boys began laughing and the girls began giggling. Even Alice thought Henry’s inebriation was funny. Henry either didn’t realize he had started or decided to start again, so he went back to introducing himself, while “Ain’t That Peculiar” played in the background on the radio. “I’m Henry Sawyer and I’m from Sssullivan…as in Ed Sullivan. I’m a science major. My new roommate is Slick Jefferson. He is sss-sitting over there.” Henry pointed Slick out to everyone, then turned his back, which gave Slick a chance to add more rum to Henry’s cup. “My roommate last semester left school one weekend and never came back. He was a messy guy. He left his clothes everywhere and he never threw away his Coke bottles or candy bar wrappers. He let his ash tray over run with ashes from his sss-cigarettes. He shmoked Larks.”

“I’m sure you knew that, because he showed you his Larks,” Mykel interrupted with a goofy smile, hoping someone would get the joke. There were some approval snickers. Luckily for Mykel, Henry picked up on it.

“Yes, but I never did hear the Lone Ranger music playing when he smoked them. I hope me and Slick get along good this semester. I will sss-sit down now.” Henry dropped into his chair in an awkward manner.

Dennis quietly said to Slick, “You probably shouldn’t spike his drink any more. I think he is drunk.”

Slick laughed, “Yeah, I think I succeeded.”

“Is it my turn?” Owen asked politely.

“Yes, go ahead,” Kathy answered.

Owen sat down his plate, with a partially eaten piece of pizza covered in potato chips, on a small bookshelf, by his chair. He took a sup of his Mountain Dew and Bacardi, for courage, then proceed to tell everyone about himself.

“My name is Owen Steckly and I graduated from Glendale High School, which is here in Spring Valley. I’m majoring in Drafting and Mechanical Drawing. My parents want me to transfer to Rolla School of Mines to study engineering, but I would rather stay here and minor in art. I would like to illustrate comic books.”

“THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L – HOME OF THE KILLER HITS – I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND THAT WAS MARVIN GAYE. IT’S 6:30 ON A SUNDAY NIGHT IN THE OZARKS AND, BY REQUEST, IT’S THE KINKS, ON THE WITCHING HOUR ON K-I-DOUBLE-L!” the radio squeezed in a quick word after Owen introduced himself.

“That’s stupid,” Alice chided Owen. “You will make more money in engineering.”

As Alice gave Owen a tongue lashing, the Kinks sang, “Set me free, little girl. All you got to do is set me free, little girl. You know you can do it if you try. All you got to do is set me free free. Free free.”

“Well, it is just a dream,” Owen muttered, as he hung his head. “I probably will have to transfer to the college in Rolla after this semester.”

“Owen, you should follow your dreams, if that is what you are interested in. I’m sure there is some money to be made as an illustrator, whether in magazines or newspaper comics or cartoons on TV.”

Sherry spoke up, “My father is a doctor and he has these medical books with very detailed illustrations of the parts of the human body. You could get a job illustrating those drawings.” She then winked with a grin at Mykel and whispered, “Very detailed drawings.”

“Follow your dreams, man. That’s more important than how much money you are paid,” Slick added.

“I really feel that there could be more demand and acceptance of illustrators,” Owen explained. “There is an artist in New York, who takes pictures from comic books and turns them into paintings, that hang in big art galleries. There is also going to be a new show on TV tomorrow night that is based on the comic book Batman.”

“I thought that was on last week,” Clint asked.

“It was on last week, because me and my little brother watched it before we went to prayer meeting,” Debbie confirmed.

“Yeah, but this is Spring Valley,” Mykel began to rant about the state of television in the Ozarks. “We only have two television stations. One is NBC and the other is CBS. We only get a few ABC shows. Sometimes they are on at the right time, but sometimes they are on at 6 a.m on Saturday morning or 10:30 p.m on Sunday night.” Mykel continued. “And that depends on whether or not they are running the Porter Wagoner Show or reruns of Sky King. Sorry I interrupted you, Owen.”

“Oh that’s okay. That’s all I really have to say. I just glad the girls asked me to come here tonight.”

“We are glad to have you, Owen! Glad to make your acquaintance,” Kathy, being a good hostess replied.

“Alice let out another “Hmph!,” after taking a puff of her Bel Air.

More jazzy horns blasted from the radio, accompanied by a steel guitar, playing a “Wow” sounding chord, and jingle singers chipping, “THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED! K-I-DOUBLE-L IN SPRING VALLEY MIZZ-OOO-REE!” After a final blast of trumpets, the radio spurted out the twangy country guitar intro of “May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose.”

“Hey, I like this song!” Henry shouted, but nobody really paid much attention, considering his was drunk at that point.

Dennis stood up and spoke, “I’ll go next, because mine will be quick. I’m Dennis Kemper and I am from Drexel. I have not decided on a major yet, but I’m open to suggestions.” He then sat back down.

Tommy stood up and quickly said, “I’m Tommy Utterback and I am from Marceline. I’m Dennis’s roommate and I also don’t haven’t decided on a major yet.”

Henry, suddenly belted out a mangled version of the chorus of the song on the radio, “May a bird fly in your nose. May your wife wet her pantyhose. May an elephant blow you with his nose.” Everyone laughed at Henry’s drunken musical interlude, except for Alice.

“That is not the words to that song!” Alice snarled, as she lit up another Bel Air, which she then held next to he sharp, protruding cheekbone.

“I’m shorry,” Henry apologized. “Is that your favorite song?”

“NO! I hate this stupid, hillbilly song! I also hate when people sing along with the radio, because they usually get the words wrong and sing terrible!” Alice screeched at Henry.

“Yeah, but Henry has an excuse for singing bad,” Mykel rationalized. “He’s drunk.”

“Oh no, I’m not drunk,” Henry corrected Mykel, then held up two fingers and said, “I’ve only had one drink with rum in it.”

Slick mumbled, “That’s what you think.”

Clint spoke up, “Well, that’s my favorite song and I think you are doing a bang-up job of singing it. I like that song so much I hope someone sings it at my funeral.”

“Silvy, since you sing, you should teach Henry to sing,” Slick said. Everyone, except Alice, laughed.

“Slick, why don’t you go next?” Kathy suggested.

Slick up down his drink cup and stood up, “I’m Slick Jefferson. You’ve probably read about me on the sports page. I’m what they call a pure athlete. I have played football, baseball, basketball and ran track. Here at S.V.S, I play basketball and run track.”

“May I ask how you got the name Slick?” Owen inquired politely.

“I can answer that,” Clint spoke up. “He is faster than any human being alive. He can steal and ball and shoot a jump shot quicker than anyone I have ever seen. He’s like a cheetah.”

“I was going to tell Owen that I was given the name Slick at birth and you ruined it, Clint!”

“You need to tell them that your real name is Clarence,” Carlene pointed out with a mischievous smile.

“Yes, it’s true. My given name is Clarence Jefferson.”

“That’s my grandpa’s name!” Debbie said.

“THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L! THAT WAS LITTLE JIMMY DICKENS BY REQUEST AT TUXEDO-TWO-SIX-FIVE-THOUSAND. I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND THIS IS THE HOT NEW BAND FROM ENGLAND, THE WHO, WITH ‘I CAN’T EXPLAIN’ ON K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

“Did he say that shingers name was Little Jimmy Chickens?” Henry asked.

“Little Jimmy Dickens,” Clint answered.

“He has been Slick since about ninth grade,” Carlene explained.

“Could be worse,” Slick said with a smirk. “I could be named Little Jimmy Chickens.” Slick sat back down and then said, “Clint, you need to go next. They got to hear about that little town you are from.”

Clint poured more rum into his ‘Merry Xmas’ cup and followed it with some more Mountain Dew. He took a quick drink, then stood up and began, “I’m Clint Grogan and I’m from Hermes. There were only thirty people in my graduating class, but we nearly took the state basketball championship last year, but we got beat by Owen’s school, Glendale High. Basketball is about the only entertainment in the winter. In the summer, we go to the drive-in picture show in the next county, but that’s it.

“Tell them about the drive-in, where your friends hang out,” Mykel suggested.

“Oh yeah! You got to tell them the name of that place,” Slick coaxed Clint.

“We don’t have a Dairy Queen or A & W,” Clint explained. But we have a place called the Cream-N-Go.” Everyone laughed at that name, even Alice. “Don’t laugh, they have the best onion rings. They also have a gigantic pork tenderloin sandwich that I love,” Clint continued talking about his hometown drive-in restaurant.

“And Clint’s favorite snack in salmon, straight from the can, with crackers and mustard,” Slick added, which produced sounds of repulsion from the group.

“And I was just thinking how I had the most normal guy in the world for a roommate,” Mykel joked. “Then I find out he eats salmon straight from the can.”

“It just something I like for a snack,” Clint said.

“I’d eat a candy bar or Twinkie before I’d eat cold salmon from a can,” Dennis remarked, as “I Will” by Dean Martin began oozing from the radio, after The Who finished.

“It not that bad, guys,” Clint said. “You should try it some time.”

“Maybe eating that cold, canned salmon is the key to you playing basketball so good,” Slick joked.

“Well, I’ve got to work on my grades or I’m off the team,” Clint bemoaned. “And maybe even out of college.”

“Alice, you can go next,” Kathy instructed.

“It’s about time! My name is Alice Schnatzky and I’m from Knob Noster. I don’t have a major yet either. I’m really just here to find a rich boy to marry. If I do pick a major, it will be something businessy, because I really like money.”

“Is ‘businessy’ a real word?” Mykel asked, with a smirk on his face, which he quickly hid behind his cup, as he took a big drink of his Bacardi infused Pepsi. Sherry gave him a nudge of approval as she giggled at how he had just stuck it to Alice. The boys began snickering too. Alice shot Mykel a murderous look, which seemed even more deadly considering that one left eye never moved.

“As I was saying, before someone interrupted me, I’ve Sherry since kindergarten. I could probably tell you some things about her that would embarrass her.”

“Of course, you know I could tell some embarrassing things about you,” Sherry snapped back with a smug grin on her face. Everyone could feel the tension between Sherry and Alice. The only sound at that moment was the radio, which was oblivious to what was going on in the girl’s dorm suite.

“K-I-DOUBLE-L – A CURRENT KILLER HIT ON THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED FROM DEAN MARTIN. I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND IT’S THE WITCHING HOUR ON K-I-DOUBLE-L! GIVE US A REQUEST AT TUXEDO-TWO-SIX-FIVE-THOUSAND. HERE’S A REQUEST FOR THE IMPRESSIONS AND ‘YOU’VE BEEN CHEATING’ ON THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

“We don’t need to know anything embarrassing about anyone,” Kathy intervened before the situation escalated.

Carlene jumped out of her chair, “I think its my turn. My name is Carlene Jeeter and I’m from Kansas City. Slick and I graduated from Lincoln high. My family lives on Troost Avenue, about a block over from 30^th Street. I work at the Robert Hall on the Paseo. Let me tell you how I got that job. My granny gave me some money for my birthday last year. At Christmas, she gave me my grandpa’s car, which is a 1949, blue Coupe DeVille. But she gave me twenty-five dollars, so I could buy some clothes. I hit Robert Hall first, because they got some cool outfits. If I had money left over, I’d go to Mode-O-Day. So I walk into the ladies wear and started looking around and I noticed that none of the clothes on the women dummies matched, I mean the blouse, sweater, skirts, slacks, belts, purses, shoes – none of it went together, and on top of that half of their fingers were broke off. I’m not sure why I did it, unless it was close to my time of the month, but I just went up to this old, white lady, who was about fifty or so and I said you ought to be ashamed to have dummies in mismatched clothes in the store. You wouldn’t wear a purple sweater with yellow blouse or a pink top with green pants, so why would you put it on a dummy. Is it because they can’t say ‘Hey, you are dressing me ugly’? That old gal got all horsey with me like, ‘I didn’t ask for a little, colored girl’s opinion’ and I said ‘Well, if some of these white shoppers had any guts, they would tell you don’t know how to dress a store dummy.”

Most of the room was enraptured in Carlene’s story and anxious to learn how she got the job, at Robert Hall, after harshly criticizing the manikin’s appearance. Silvy and Slick smiled at each other, having already heard the story several times. Alice glared at Carlene, with her enlarged, unresponsive eye, jealous that Carlene was getting more attention than her.

“This man, that was a floor manager, Mr. Walker, over heard me and came over, because he thought me and the old lady was going to fight. He took me aside and told me that there was a girl, who worked there who was leaving, because she was looking for her first baby and her husband didn’t want here to work anymore. He asked if I would want a job and he would let me pick out the clothes for the dummies. I said I could only work after school and on Saturday. He said that was fine. I worked there all summer and over Christmas break. Mr. Walker is really nice and treats me good, although I think he might be a little on the queer side, because he has a roommate named Bradford and they go downtown to this place called the Jewel Box Theater, where these guys dress up like women and sing along with Ethel Merman records.”

“Are your finished yet?” Alice snarled.

“Yes, I am, Miss Businessy!” Carlene snapped back at Alice. “Your turn, Silvy.”

Silvy stood up, smiled and placed her bottle of Pepsi, on the table, cleared her throat gently, the spoke with a bell-like voice. Luckily, the radio station was in a commercial break, so she didn’t have to talk over the latest tunes.

“I’m Silvia Ford, but everyone calls me Silvy. I’m from a small town in Arkansas called Dubuckhole, that is about forty miles from Fayetteville. I’m majoring in music education. I hope to either teach music in schools or be a music director at a church.”

“Tell them about that big fight you were in,” Carlene coaxed her roommate to tel the group more about herself. Unlike Carlene, tiny, soft spoken Silvy didn’t seem like a fighter, but Mykel remembered what the man with Student Services told him about Silvy, after she and her aunt had gotten off of the elevator.

“I signed up to take the SAT and my principal said the school district didn’t allow colored students to take the SAT test.” Silvy was relating her story to the others, when Carlene interrupted again.

“Tell how your preacher and that lawyer called them big shot lawyers from Little Rock in to help you,” Carlene prompted Silvy.

“He really isn’t a full time lawyer; he is the undertaker in town and helps people with the wills and probate. He and the preacher, at our church, found out about the school not allowing me to take the SAT test, so they contacted the NAACP and an American Civil Liberties Union lawyer in Little Rock.”

Carlene interrupted Silvy with a greatly embellished version of the story, “The NAACP and ACLU came to Dubuckhole and told them, ‘you’re gonna give that little girl the SAT test or we will have President Johnson send in the National Guard and shut the school down.’ After that they gave her the test.”

“No, Carlene, they just told the school they would have to allow me to take the test or they would file a lawsuit in district court,” Silvy clarified what really happened.

“And tell them about what score you made, when you finally took the SAT test.”

“I will, Carlene, if you will quit interrupting me! I made the highest score in the state of Arkansas on the SAT test and was given a scholarship through the United Fund,” Silvy informed the group, who then preceded to cheer and clap for her accomplishment. Even Alice congratulated her on the high score.

“Now tell them about…” Carlene tried to coax more out of Silvy, but she stopped her roommate.

“Why don’t I let someone else introduce themselves?” Silvy replied humbly, then suggested, “Why don’t we let Mykel go next?”

“Yeah, Mykel, why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself?” Kathy concurred with Silvy and the others began encouraging him to give his introduction next.

“Go ahead, Mykel,” Sherry urged Mykel, “I want to go last.”

“Okay, I will,” Mykel agreed, as he sat his cup and plate down, as the radio station finished the commercial break and played a jingle.

“Oh, I’m sure this will be real interesting,” sneered Alice with copious amounts of sarcasm. Sherry glared at her disapprovingly.

“LIVE WHERE THE ACTION IS – YOURS TRULY K-I-DOUBLE-L IN SPRING VALLEY MIZZ-OOO-REE!” A squeal of trumpets finished the jingle and the Beach Boys began singing, “Round, round, get around I GET AROUND! Ooooo-weeee-oooo! I get around.”

Mykel looked around the room at everyone waiting for him to begin speaking. “My name is Mykel Daring. My first name is spelled M-Y-K-E-L but pronounced like regular spelling of Michael. This seems to make people mad, for some reason. I was named for my father’s uncle. It’s Greek. I was born in Binbury, Vermont. My father died when I was in seventh grade, so my mother moved us to Lemming Pond, which is where my maternal grandparents live. My grandpa was in the Army and was stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood for many years. He’s retired now.

I started going to school in Lemming Pond at the beginning of my eighth grade year and hated it. The kids there had all known each others since birth and I was this short, asthmatic kid with a Yankee accent. Needless to say they didn’t like me. I didn’t have a girlfriend, because the pretty girls were either snooty or protected by guys who bigger than me, and the other girls were big and meaner than Hell.

My classmates, in the summer bailed hay. I couldn’t because of my asthma and allergies, so I spent my summer at the library. At least, the library has air conditioning.

My major is in broadcasting and communications. I’m going to start an internship at K-I-L-L later this week. There are so many great jobs besides radio disc jockey that I would like, such as kiddie show host, horror movie show host or, who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the guy that replaces either Ed Sullivan or Johnny Carson.”

Sherry smiled at him, “I think that it is wonderful that you’re going to work at the radio station.”

Alice lit up another Bel Air and then chided Mykel, “Personally, I think Broadcasting is a worthless major to graduate with, but it is obvious that you are getting into that line of work because you like to be the center of attention.” Nobody was shocked by Alice’s rudeness, but it drew silence. The only thing that could be heard was the Beach Boys.

A devilish grin formed on Mykel’s face and he asked Alice, “Are you suggesting that I should maybe get degree in Business Management, so I can do something ‘businessey’?” This caused everyone to burst into laughter and made Alice mad.

“Sherry, you are the only one we haven’t heard from yet,” Kathy said.

“I might as well,” Sherry sighed, sitting down her drink and plate. She stood up and adjusted her pants, smoothed them out in the back. Mykel sat and watched this with fascination.

“K-I-DOUBLE-L – THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – THAT WAS THE BEACH BOYS AND ‘I GET AROUND’. I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND THIS IS THE WITCHING HOUR. I’M TAKING YOUR REQUEST AT TUXEDO-TWO-SIX-FIVE-THOUSAND. THE WITCHING HOUR IS SPONSORED BY FISHER’S HI-BOY – HOME OF THE POOR BOY BURGER. BY REQUEST IS LAST WEEK’S NUMBER ONE HIT ON THE KILLER COUNTDOWN – THE BEATLES AND ‘DAY TRIPPER’ ON THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED K-I-DOUBLE-L!”, the radio squeezed in a quick segue before Sherry began introducing herself.

“My name is Sherry Ridenhour and I am from Knob Noster. That is where Whiteman Air Force Base is, so I’m used to seeing missile silos out my window. I plan to be a Theater and Speech major, because my mother taught drama and speech at our school. Who knows, I might just up and run off to Hollywood or Broadway someday. My father is a doctor, so I have been raised to have an extreme fear of germs and I’m overly clean, which annoys some people. My hair is kind of sandy now, but I’m planning to go blonde or bleaching it white, when the weather turns nice.” Sherry, pursed her lips, while running her tongue over her teeth, then she smiled at everyone, as if she were laughing at a joke, that only she knew, and she said, not really know what to say next, “Any questions?”

Carlene had a question, “Is that photo, on the wall, of you at prom?”

Sherry reluctantly said, “I’m afraid so.”

“That prom dress is beautiful! Did you make that yourself?” Carlene gushed with approval.

“My mom and aunt helped me make it.” Sherry answered in a pensive manner like she was avoiding talking about the photo.

“Girl, you are pretty enough in that photo to be a movie star,” Silvy complimented Sherry.

“Thank you!” Sherry blushed and grinned.

Debbie, unfortunately, brought up the elephant in the room, or the person in the photo that Sherry didn’t want to talk about.

“You don’t look happy,” Debbie observed. “You look like you pooped your pants.”

“I kind of wish I had, maybe he would have taken me home early,” Sherry grumbled, as she sat back down next to Mykel. “I was miserable with him.”

“Are you stupid?” Alice screeched at Sherry. Everyone, at that point, realized this must have been what was causing the tension between the prettiest girl in the room and the ugliest girl in the room. “You were dating Donald “Chip” Hallwell and broke up with him…and right before Christmas! His family are very important people in town. His family put the knob in Knob Noster!”

“He put is n-n-n-knob in what?” Henry asked, obviously hammered at this point. The boys all began laughing.

“That sounds painful. Putting your knob in a noster, whatever that is,” Slick joked, even though he was laughing so hard, he could barely get his words out.

“The Hallwells are one of the pioneer families in Johnson County and they are very wealthy,” Alice continued berating Sherry.

“I KNOW that, Alice! I dated him for two years. All I ever heard about is their stupid money!” Sherry fired back at Alice. “Other than money and his good looks, he is as boring a picket fence.”

While Sherry and Alice were bickering over Chip, the boys were having fun with Alice’s description of Chip’s family heritage. “Do you think they come in a covered wagon and wore coonskin caps?”

“I’d bet they pulled up in a Conestoga to a bunch of Osage or Kickapoo Indians, who were standing around smoking their peace pipes and said, ‘Howdy, do you have a noster we can stick our knob in?’ Oddly enough, they did have a noster and the rest is history,” Mykel joked.

Alice wheeled around at let the boys have it with both barrels, “Will you idiots shut up! I am trying to have a serious discussion with my friend and you are making light of the situation!”

“Alice, we can just drop this discussion, because I made up my mind,” Sherry retorted, while the radio played a jingle, that was in a cha-cha style. “Lots of girls break up with the boy they dated in high school when they go to college. I want to find someone with something else besides the largest bank account in a small town.”

Alice expelled another one of her “Hmphs!” and blew a cloud of cigarette smoke into the air. In a prophetic coincidence, what followed the jingle was Sam the Sham bellowing, “WWEEELLLL, YOU CAN HAVE YOUR GOLD AND DIAMONDS TOO, ALL I WANT IS A RING-DANG-DOO!”

Kathy felt she should try to defuse the situation and reminded the group, “There is still plenty of pizza and soda. How are we doing on the rum?”

“Looks like we could go around the room, with a shot for everyone, at least two more times,” Dennis stated, as he held up the bottle, before pouring more in his cup. “Could someone hand me a bottle of Pepsi out of the fridge?”

Grace volunteered and then asked, “Do you want more ice?”

“Yes, please,” Dennis answered.

“Use the ice cream scoop or scoop it with one of the cups and then let him have it to drink out of,” Sherry advised Grace, who scooped Dennis a cup of ice and spilled it in Tommy’s lap.

“Ooops! I’ll get you some more,” Grace apologized, then scooped more ice out of the stewpot with the same cup, which caused Sherry to wince.

“So, do we want to play Moose or Quarters?” Kathy asked those gathered in he dorm suite. “Or we have a card deck, we could play President or King.”

“We can’t play Moose, because we don’t have any ice trays,” Grace said.

“We can use some of the paper cups,” Kathy said.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” Debbie exclaimed. “Instead of quarters we could use my Super Ball. That would make it more fun.”

“That’s a good idea, Debbie!” Sherry commended her. “Quarters are covered in germs, since they are handled by everybody.”

“And people always lose their quarters,” Kathy added.

“Why would we worry about ttthhat?” Henry slurred. “It’s not like there will ever be a quarter ssh-shortage.”

“But people would want their quarters back,” Kathy answered, realizing that Henry was pretty drunk. Sherry and Mykel giggled about Henry’s strange comment about a possible coin shortage.

“I hate to lose quarters while playing Quarters,” Dennis remarked. “I use all my quarters for either the soda machine or the cigarette machine.”

“Maybe we could play Spin the Bottle or just dance with the music on the radio,” Debbie suggested.

“There are no boys in this room that I want to dance with,” Alice chided Debbie.

Slick threw his hands in air, like a Pentecostal, and hollered, “OH THANK YOU, LORD! I was afraid I would have to dance with that skinny, white girl!” The boys laughed and the girls snickered, but Alice was not amused.

“I think we should play Truth or Dare,” Alice piped up. “If we are really serious about getting to know each other.”

Kathy was reluctant, but caved in, “Okay, Alice, we will play Truth or Dare, but let’s not get too personal or hurtful. For those of you who have never played this before, you have a choice of answering a question with a truthful answer or take the dare, if you refuse, you have to take a drink. Once you have a turn, you pick the next person to go.” Kathy, realizing she should try to keep control of situation, announced, “I’ll start the game off by asking Slick, do you want a truth or a dare?”

“Give me a dare,” Slick answered.

“How about you kiss a girl, in this room, that you find attractive?” Kathy requested. Everyone giggled or made cat calls, as the radio continued to remind everyone of it’s presence.

“THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L WITH THE LATEST FROM SAM THE SHAM AND THE PHARAOHS WITH ‘RING DANG DOO’! I’M WILD WALLY WATSON ON A COLD WET SUNDAY NIGHT WITH THE WITCHING HOUR. TAKING YOUR REQUEST A TUXEDO-TWO-SIX-FIVE-THOUSAND. OUR SPONSOR IS FISHER’S HI-BOY. HERE IS THE MARVELOWS AND I DO ON THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

Slick stood up and said, in swaggering voice, “I’ll do better. I’ll kiss two girls I find attractive.” He then walked over and kiss both Carlene and Silvy on the cheek, then turned around and asked, “Any of you other girls want a kiss?”

“I want a kiss! I never get kissed!” Sherry yelled at Slick with a giggle in her voice.

Slick asked her, “Didn’t your big shot boyfriend ever kiss you?”

“Not really,” Sherry answered. So Slick gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Alice watched with disgust, fuming at Sherry slamming her former boyfriend, Chip Hallwell, and asking a Black boy for a kiss. “Might I remind you that his family put the knob in Knob Noster. You should at least have been grateful that Chip even went out with you once, much less for two years.” Sherry ignored Alice’s little rant.

Grace and Debbie also asked Slick for a kiss and he obliged. “How about you?” Slick asked Kathy.

“Sure,” Kathy answered and Slick gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“I don’t want a kiss,” Alice snarled.

“That’s good, because I wasn’t going to give you one,” Slick snapped back, which caused everyone to laugh. Alice went “Hmph!”

Kathy instructed Slick, “Now, you pick someone, Slick.”

“Clint, Truth or Dare?” Slick asked his teammate.

“Oh, I guess I’ll take Truth,” Clint answered.

“You are a small town, farm boy. Did you ever make out on hay bails?” Slick asked with a chuckle. The others in room giggled about the question.

“Not just on a bail of hay, but in a hay wagon and the hay loft,” Clint boasted, which caused cheers and squeals from the group. Even Alice smiled at Clint’s bawdy but bucolic answer. “Mykel, Truth or Dare?” Clint asked his roommate.

“Truth,” Mykel agreed to answering a question about himself.

“Okay, I said earlier that I liked the song ‘May The Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose’ and I would even like that played at my funeral,” Clint prefaced his question. “Do you have a song that you would like at your funeral or, since you are going into radio, would like as your theme song?”

“Yes, one of my favorite songs, right now, is a song called ‘Let Me Be’ by the Turtles,” Mykel explained. “The words are defiant against how other people want to tell you what to do to fit in. I don’t change to please people and I don’t kiss butt either. That’s probably why I wasn’t popular in Lemming Pond.”

The title of the song and the name of the singing group didn’t register with Clint, but he had been with Mykel enough, that afternoon, to know that Mykel enjoyed being a thorn in the side of everyone in his hometown. A jingle with women singing, “THE NEW SOUND FOR THE IN CROWD IS ON K-I-DOUBLE-L – THIRTEEN-HUNDRED IN SPRING VALLEY MIZZ-OOO-REE!” That gave Clint an idea.

“I’m not familiar with that song,” Clint acknowledged his ignorance of the song, as the Statler Brothers began counting the flowers on their wall. “Hey, since they are taking request on the radio, you ought to call and have them play it.”

“No! Don’t!” Alice screeched. “That’s one of those stupid protest songs! I hate those!”

“I like that song too, Mykel!” Grace spoke up, then began singing the chorus. “Let me be, let me be, let me be what I want too. Let me be, let me be, to think what I want to, I am what I am and that’s all I ever can be. Or at least, I think that’s it.” Everyone, except Alice, clapped for Grace’s impromptu singing.

“You are pretty close,” Mykel smiled at Grace.

“Make sure you get it right,” Sherry snarked. “Because even if Alice hates a song, she will throw a hissy fit if you get the words wrong. Right, Henry!” Henry laughed.

“Why don’t I go into the bedroom and call the radio station and have them play ‘Let Me Be’ for us?” Grace suggested.

“That is a good idea, Grace!” Kathy said. “We can wait until you make the call.”

Grace walked into the bedroom, with her drink in her hand, to call the radio station. Alice spewed out another, “Hmph!” Suddenly, there was a loud clatter with a “Bing” mixed in, followed by Grace yelping in pain.

“What happened, Grace?” Kathy asked concerned.

“Nothing, I just pulled the phone off of the table,” Grace’s voice came from the bedroom she shared with Kathy. “It landed on my foot. I hope it’s not broke. It’s kind of sore.”

Kathy, Sherry and Debbie began to snicker and giggle at Grace’s clumsy antics. Slick said, “I like that little girl, she’s like having both Laurel and Hardy in a cute chick.”

Grace hobbled back into the room, wincing a bit from the telephone falling on her foot. “The DJ said he would get it on as soon as he can.”

“I can’t believe you called the radio station to play that stupid song,” Alice griped, as she puffed on her Bel Air.

“What music do you like, Alice?” Mykel questioned her in a sarcastic tone.

“About the only singer I like is Ronnie Dove,” Alice answered, which caused Mykel to roll his eyes.

“That’s so square,” Mykel groused. “It seems like the radio station in Lemming Pond played him every five minutes. They only music they play is either country music or stuff for old people and squares. No rock and roll.”

A commercial came on for a car dealership bragging that they would sell you a 1965 Chevrolet Corvair for “only $2000,” that was followed by a friendly little group of singers “extending the Walgreens welcome.”

Kathy could tell Alice was about to let Mykel have it, “Mykel, it is your turn to ask a question.”

Mykel thought about what to ask someone. He knew he wanted to ask Sherry if she would ever consider going out on a date with him, but what if she got mad at him, like all those girls in Lemming Pond that he asked to prom, that shot him down. If ever he need some thing to boost his courage, it was now.

“Could I have some of the rum and another Pepsi first?” he asked. Dennis passed the bottle over to him and Debbie got him a bottle out of the fridge.

The low voiced “official” announcer came on after the commercial’s to inform everyone that they were listening to “K-I-L-L IN SPRING VALLEY, MISSOURI, AT THIRTEEN-HUNDRED KILOHERTZ. OWNED AND OPERATED BY MARY SUE MEDIA RADIO STATION. IT IS 7 P.M IN THE OZARKS!” followed by a royal sounding trumpet fanfare. Then the Kingsmen launched into “The Jolly Green Giant.”

“Hey Owen! There is your song!” He was trying to pour himself some rum in his ‘Merry Xmas’ cup and make conversation at the same time. The cup was half filled with rum. His ice cubes began to dissolve quickly, so as much Pepsi, as he could, into the cup without running it over.

“Oh wow! You remembered that we talked about that in the elevator,” Owen was shocked.

“I remember just about every conversation I have about rock and roll,” Mykel said as he took a drink, which bought choked, but gave him the perfect opportunity to mimic Red Skelton. “Oooooo – that’s sssmmmoooooth!”

“Are you going to hurry up and ask a question?” Alice snapped at Mykel as she walked over and jerked the fifth of Bacardi away from him, so she could pour herself some more. She almost poked him in the eye with her cigarette.

Mykel decided to go for it, although for a brief moment he thought about asking Alice if she had a hornet in her butt. “Sherry, Truth or Dare…” he paused as he looked at her with her lips held tight, but grinning behind them and a twinkle in her eye. “If we went out on a date, w-w-w-would you at least hold hands with me or would you kiss me?” Once he had the question out, he took a drink. He also realized he didn’t wait for her to say ‘Truth or Dare.’

Sherry gave him a big smile, “Of course, we would hold hands and kiss. To tell you the truth, I’ve never got to heavy pet and I’d like to try that.” The everyone in room cheered Sherry’s response, except Alice. Mykel got choked on his Pepsi and rum, which was still about 75% rum and burned his throat. Some of it went got sucked up his nose, it felt like his nostrils had turpentine in them. “Quick, someone hand me a paper towel!”

Debbie rolled off three paper towels, then passed them to Kathy, who passed over to Sherry, who wiped the Pepsi and Bacardi off of Mykel’s chin. “Are you okay, Mykel?”

“Yeah, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting,” Mykel croaked, as he tried to regain his composer. “I never even thought to ask you about that, because I’m used to girls not wanting to hold hands, even if they agree to go out with me.”

Alice, scowling at Sherry, irrupted with indignation, “You mean you broke up with Chip Hallwell, whose family put the knob in Knob Noster, and then you have the nerve to tell this short, queer, dork that you not only would go out with him, but want to kiss and pet with him. Have you lost your mind, Sherry Ridenhour!”

“Wait just a minute!” Clint objected. “Why do you think Mykel is queer?”

“He makes goofy little faces and those silly voices,” Alice snarled back at Clint. “And he wears his hair like those horrible bands from England.”

“So, I take it that you don’t like people, who try to make others laugh?” Slick asked Alice.

“I just don’t fine other people’s humor funny,” Alice snarled.

An impish, mischievous look crossed Sherry’s pretty face, “Isn’t it my turn, Kathy?”

Kathy could tell, Sherry was plotting something and, at this point, she thought what ever it was, Alice would deserve it. “Yes, Sherry it is your turn.”

Before Sherry make her pick, which everyone in the room guessed, by that look on her face, that it would be Alice, there was a jingle on the radio, followed by “La La La La La” by the Blendells.

“Alice: Truth or Dare?” Sherry asked with smile, like she was possessed by a demon.

“Truth,” Alice took a drag off her Bel Air and then blew a huge cloud of smoke into the tense atmosphere of the dorm suite.

“If you don’t tell the truth, you will have to drink a whole cup of rum straight. Do you have any irrational fears that you wouldn’t want anybody to know about?” Sherry queried with her devilish smile.

“Well, no!” Alice snipped.

“Pass the bottle, girls! Alice is lying and has to drink!” Sherry laughed victorious, as she had a dirty, little secret of Alice’s to expose to everyone in the room. “Alice Schnatzky is scared to death of clowns!”

“Clowns? Who the Hell is afraid of clowns?” Carlene guffawed and Silvy began laughing too.

“Clowns? That’s stupid! Why would you be afraid of clowns?” Henry scoffed.

“I’ve always liked clowns and was never afraid of clowns,” Owen remarked.

Everyone was laughing at Alice at this point. She had an embarrassed look on her face. Sherry decided to make her feel worse, so with her impish smile, she began telling the group about Alice’s coulrophobia, “When we were in kindergarten, there was a boy, in our class, Timmy, had a birthday party. His mother had a clown come and do magic tricks and make animals out of balloons. Well, Alice screamed and bawled her fool head off, while clinging to her mom’s dress! I thought she was going to pull it off of her. Her mom said to Timmy’s mother, ‘I’m going to have to take little Alice home. The clown has upset her.’ I, myself thought to clown was cool because that was the first time I had seen a real live clown. I had only seen them on TV.”

Sherry wasn’t finish and with a giggle in her voice, started another anecdote, “Wait, there is more. There was a trade show in Knob Noster last year and our home economics teacher asked some of us girls to demonstrate some appliances, for a department store in town, at the trade show. There was a clown, walking around, handing out balloons and he walked to the booth, where we were making these little sandwiches with weenies, sliced cheese and canned biscuits in a Tappan Fabulous 400. This clown walks up and gives me a balloon. I thanked him for it. He tried to give one to Alice and she starts screaming at the pour guy ‘Get away from me! I don’t want a balloon!’ The clown looked like he had been slapped or something and walked off. Alice is shaking and about to cry. She whined, ‘A clown got close to me’ and I started laughing, because she is a senior in high school and terrified of a clown.”

The laughter was so loud that it drowned out the radio for a few seconds. Alice vehemently tried to defend herself, “You don’t know who it is behind all that make-up. They could be a murder, who escaped from prison or something!”

“Alice, that clown, at the trade show, was a Sunday school teacher at the First Baptist Church of Knob Noster,” Sherry reminded her, as the guys kept laughing. “Those balloons had little cards with Bible verses on them and the church’s address! How many times did you ever hear of a Sunday school teacher doing something to somebody? Let’s face it, for a person with such a haughty attitude, you are scared of something that you should have stopped being afraid of when you were in elementary school.”

“That does it! I’m leaving! I will not be laughed at by someone, dumb enough to break up with a boy, whose family put the knob in Knob Noster! Hmph!” Alice screech, almost in tears. She flung open the door and it hit Owen in the arm, and slamming it behind her. It was quiet for a few seconds.

“Don’t let the door hit your skinny ass on the way out,” Slick chucked, after she stomped out. The whole room was laughing. The song on the radio, coincidentally ended with applause.

“THANK YOU, THANK YOU! THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L! I’M WILD WALLY WATSON AND THAT WAS THE BLENDELLS WITH A SONG WRITTEN BY LITTLE STEVIE WONDER. THAT KID CAN DO EVERYTHING BUT SEE! SPEAKING OF KIDS, SOME KIDS HANGING OUT IN ROOM 420, OF THE BONNER RESIDENCE HALL, AT SPRING VALLEY STATE COLLEGE, CALLED AND REQUESTED THIS ONE BY THE TURTLES. IT ‘LET ME BE.’ AND YOU CAN CALL TUXEDO-TWO-SIX-FIVE-THOUSAND AND MAKE A REQUEST ON THE BIG THIRTEEN-HUNDRED – K-I-DOUBLE-L!”

Grace shouted, “They’re playing our request, Mykel!”

“Cool!” Mykel exclaimed. “Too bad Alice left before she heard the DJ mention us.” Mykel then slipped into an imitation of Alice, “Of course, she doesn’t like protest songs.”

Sherry stood up from the settee with a somber look on her face, rather than the sweet smile, she had wore all evening. “Can I have everyone’s attention? I just want to apologize and say I’m sorry for inviting Alice. I really hoped that she had changed some since she was now at college, but she is still mean and hateful to people for no reason. On top of that, I think she wanted to come to this party to pester me about my break up. If she said something that upset you or hurt your feeling, I’m sorry and I feel I’m responsible.”

“She really kind of invited herself,” Debbie corrected Sherry. “When we were going around the dorm inviting people, we ran into her and she asked if she could come. Sherry hesitated, but finally told her that she could join us.”

“Actually, I ran into her and she said I needed to watch where I was going,” Grace added.

“No, Sherry, you don’t need to apologized. I thought we should have this little party to meet other people here in the dorm and we have succeeded. We have met some good people here and I hope we can keep being friends,” Kathy reassured Sherry, but then changed the subject back to Alice, “But I would also ask, why is she so mad at you for breaking up with a guy? If a guy is a jerk, most people are happy when their friend breaks up with that guy.”

“I think Alice was kind of jealous of me,” Sherry tried to explain the strange dynamic. “She only thinks a boy is worthy of a girl’s attention if he is good looking or rich…”

“So that’s why she didn’t like any of us,” Slick spoke up. The other boys all laughed at his statement, as another K-I-L-L jingle, this one with a Latin Bossa Nova feel, lead into The Beatles “We Can Work It Out.”

“I’m not kidding,” Sherry got serious. “That is how she was raised, you might say. If your family got a Cadillac or Lincoln, her parents would run out a get a Mercedes-Benz. If your family got a swimming pool, her parents would go buy a house at the Lake of the Ozarks. Chip Hallwell had looks and money, the things Alice thinks would make the perfect husband, but I could tell her that was all he had. Carlene was talking about the mannequins at Robert Hall earlier and I know they have more personality and love in them than Donald “Chip” Hallwell would ever have. All of the boys I’ve met tonight are more exciting than Chip.” She then leaned over Mykel and rubbed his hair frantically. He blushed and smiled back at her.

“So, do we want to play a different game now?” Kathy asked the group assembled in the dorm suite.

“Honestly, I was enjoying just chatting, like we were doing before we did our introductions,” Silvy commented. “Besides, it is close to curfew and we all have a big day tomorrow. I’m also kind of tired, because I got up early this morning.”

Everyone agreed with Silvy. They chatted about how their first semester went, their favorite music, and what classes they had this semester. Then slowly but surely everyone decided to go back to their rooms. Before everyone left, Sherry again apologized for inviting Alice.

“Sherry, I know how it is to feel you have to apologize for someone elses behavior, but we know it wasn’t your fault,” Owen consoled her. “Someone as pretty as you shouldn’t be friends with someone as ugly as her.”

Sherry began giggling, “Thank you! I appreciate that.”

Owen left the room and Mykel said, “I was on the elevator with him and his parents this afternoon. I would say he has had to apologize for them. They were obnoxious.”

Mykel and Clint went back to their room and went to bed. Tomorrow was a new semester.